You all know that Egypt is home to the Arab League and that Cairo accommodates over 250 embassies, cultural centers and international organizations. This translates into tens of kilometers of very precious parking space allocated to our international guests. The situation gets worse when some of these, in the name of security, appropriate the sidewalks adjacent to their legations and homes planting chains, iron bars and pickets, so that on a moon-less night you either end up flat on your face or get punctured in the belly by one of these clandestine weapons.

Makes you wonder what kind of anti-parking device they'll think of next.

Because their over-congested district is popular with diplomats from all over the world, Zamalkawites are the worse hit casualties of these wayward methods of (i) pre-empting imaginary terrorist attacks or (ii) staking parking space.

Diplomats either inhabit Zamalek, work there or both.

The most victimized Zamalek inhabitants are those who live in buildings that have amongst their tenants an ambassador from some banana or coffee growing republic. Big and rich countries usually own villas or mansions and have their own private garages.

Take one of the hispanic embassies located on the ground floor of "Eeman Court", a smart redbrick Zamalek building not far from the Gezira Sporting Club. For some unknown reason the embassy changed several ambassadors during the last four years and with each new arrival the so-called security requirements for this small-sized legation have been stepped up. So much so, that there have been several bad-tempered standoffs between the embassy personnel, and the senior European diplomat and former politician who live on the floors above. These unfortunate neighbors sometime find themselves ensnared, unable to take off with their own cars. Even the likable EU chief representative who lived in the building across the narrow street was victim of these desperado-like proceedings.

And how about our friend from Tangostan? Although the privileged beneficiary of a specific parking place flanked by two "no parking" signposts, he will invariably ignore it [his assigned parking space] stationing his chauffeured driven car right up his large building's main entrance. Perhaps he thinks that if he were to walk the extra four steps it might cause a stir in the G&B (gin and tonic) circuit!

On the other hand you have the examples of Canada and India. How come their representatives haven't sealed off all of the streets adjacent to their Zamalek villas? Aren't they diplomats too? So why can't the others follow the example of these sagacious envoys?

And since we're on the subject of diplomatic vehicles check out this comment made by a veteran Egyptian diplomat who spent most of his postings in Europe. Both he and his wife vouch that they'd never seen such a display of flags before. They are of-course referring at how some of our temporary Cairo denizens unfurl their car pennons each time they visit the supermarket, rush off to a tennis appointment or attend an informal tea party. Not surprising therefore that some of them shed bitter tears when the euphoria is over and it's time to return to London or Timbuktu, for by now they've completely forgotten what it was like to catch a bus or to tarry for the next caravan!

So to some of our dear guests the diplomats, we're not xenophobic and we certainly love having you around, but por amor de Dios, give us a break!

articles posted on egy.com were published in the following books by Samir W Raafat: THE EGYPTIAN BOURSE, Zeitouna, Cairo -- CAIRO THE GLORY YEARS, Harpocrates, Alexandria -- HISTORY & SOCIETY IN A CAIRO SUBURB; MAADI 1904-1962, Palm Press, Cairo -- PRIVILEGED FOR THREE CENTURIES, printed digitally and bound by Elias Printing, Egypt